Eating Experience

I used to have a very bad schedule at NUS. I did n't know when I am sleeping, when I am waking up, when I am eating my food and what I am eating. Since I used do my work at home, I did not really pay much attention about my food and of having lunch buddies. But sometimes, when I go to the university, I do not find people to have lunch with. And it mostly happens during the holidays, when the graduate students hardly come to the department. I was the only lonely soul hanging around in the department, since the morning till late in the evening. During the lunch time, when I go to eat at the canteen, I find myself very lonely, emabarassed and bored. It so happened that it some times scared me. It feels like as if everyone is watching me and I am under constant surveillance. This idea of "being alone" is not a very good one, whether at lunch or in life. Nothing sucks more than feeling all alone no matter how many people are around.

Similar things also happened, when I used to live in Gillman Heights and go to have my dinner at S.P. Jain Management Institute, which is very close to the Condomnium. My experience during the first few days were very interesting. Nice indian food, pretty girls around and I didn't have to go far to find some 'vegetarian' food (my unique problematic). But after few days, similar feelings were developed. I felt myself being watched. I also felt that I was the only person, who eats alone. My feeling of their feelings scared me and embarassed me. To avoid this, I changed my time schedule and started going to the canteen very early, when it is not crowded. Often, I asked friends to join me also. Some other time, Maggie Noodles and Fairprice Bread in our refrigerator saved me from such embarassments.

The point I am trying to make is the longing of friendship while eating. The good thing here at Roskilde is that all the professors and dtudents' have their lunch together. They buy their food from the canteen and bring it back to the department, where they get to discuss many things. The short-term guests like us get the opportunity to meet other people and build a network of relationship - both personal and professional. But sometimes, the prevailed silence over lunch also scares like the loneliness. Sometimes, their interaction in Danish also leave the non-Danish speakers isolated. It feels like "feeling lonely in the midst of the crowd". The effect ultimately is "loneliness", whether you are with or without someone, not only at lunch but also in life. So we shouldn't wait for someone to make us feel happy!!