While discussing about the understandings of love and marriage, my idealistic vision got yet another blow when I pointed out that love is nothing but mutual trust and commitment. "Of course not, there is no Love. It is all about mutual interests" says a friend of mine. Though not a Marxist, his materialistic interpretations of human relationship was surprising. Frankly speaking, I exactly do not know what to write.It is pretty simple saying that the understanding of social phenomena is subjective and thus the opinions vary from person to person and in context. However, the question is, is there a sense of truth in what he said, which I never though of. I could not, for long, take it for granted that human relationships, especially related to love and marriage can take the form of materialistic exchange and mutual interests. I realised,he may be true in some sense. Analyse the unsuccessful relationships between husband and wife which broke off because the husband was unable to fulfill the needs of his beautiful wife OR the groom who left the marriage because the brides parents were unable to pay the required dowry OR the amount of dowry you need to pool together to find a suitable groom for your daughter. I may sound very materialistic but it is the truth. I donot claim that all relationships are grounded on economic interests. It could take any form. I watched this movie called "the Blades of Glory" where the successful scaters utilise their sister to pretend loving the opponent who have the chance of winning the competition. They also asked her to have sex with the partner of her lover; so that the relationship will be broken and they would not be together to fight the scating championship.
Relationships have always been primary to my "self". I grow with them and learn from them. I always thought love and marriage bring some of the moments in human life which expect mutual, unconditional commitment and trust. But... the word "unconditional" hurts you when the word "mutual" cease to exist. You love someone but if the other pretends doing it, the result, then, becomes painful.
Relationships have always been primary to my "self". I grow with them and learn from them. I always thought love and marriage bring some of the moments in human life which expect mutual, unconditional commitment and trust. But... the word "unconditional" hurts you when the word "mutual" cease to exist. You love someone but if the other pretends doing it, the result, then, becomes painful.
1 comment:
I don’t know who Sahoo’s friend is, but what he says is absolutely right. “THERE IS NO LOVE IN THE WORLD” and all are nothing but conflicting interests and exercising of power. It is not just the case for unsuccessful relationships but also true for “successful” or I better put it “on going”, relationships. Interest is everywhere, no way out. And there can NEITHER be any democracy NOR consensus at all as power is omnipresent everywhere. Take simply family decision for example, can you really come to a consensus on any issue? Someone, either husband or wife, must be submissive or assertive. Is it really possible to understand the expectation, behaviour, psychology or what is “inside the head” of your partner, even though you live hundreds of years together? Do you really obedient to your partner? Are you sure you are not hiding anything from your partner? Are you confident when you say “I love you” or “I miss you” not merely meeting a temporary obsession, and really comes from your heart and not just from your mouth? Last, but not the least, are you really sure that you are not chatting with someone over the Internet pretending obedient to your partner, or dating or expecting to date with someone hiding your partner? I DOUBT.
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